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October 13 2017

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One of my old college buddies that I haven’t spoken to in years just sent me his plans for a perpetual motion device.

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Reblog if you think the girl on the left is just as beautiful as the girl on the right

both these hoes ugly

October 12 2017

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Reblog this within 10 seconds and unexpected extra money will cum to you this week

The money will do what now


“Hey Ryuk do the Death Note rules say I can’t do THIS”

*Light rips out a page of the notebook and uses it to roll a flat blunt*

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a girl whos tummy is sore because she ate dairy: is a bit quiet
a guy:She was perfect, pure maddening sex, and she knew it, and she played on it, dripped it, and allowed you to suffer for it

sprint service trash except for if ur in a hood area. when i was in ne dc the other day i had 17 bars. i was talking to dead ppl on my shit n all that

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Reposted bychangecolourblackheartgirltherivernymph
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Reposted byderletzteschreipleplemerydocholerydazzlingHypothermiavairaikariskillzmcflyInteechoxWraithulekFukuronfinkreghjulannjanuschytrusznuhjudyszaedhellsohryulevunejezuOhSnapanderer-tobikivlovthor7oSenyiagreywolfsprawnypankamienTankripencjobaggostolatsamotnosciwyimaginowana-iguanaponurykosiarzfafnirscavemarciixKryptoniteNekonmoepiLilaLolaRedHeadCathcrc9sucznikchowdertriadwarriornicapicellasoupeterdivisasorizanokonicciekawegoLazuliLapisdaswarkeinhuhnrozalkatoskalatteFredFuchsZivilKuhPsaikoDevawasnaebisatococciuellacarlandlouisestrzepynodifferencebiauekshowmetherainbowckisbackxaltfuwujcioBatTerodalhaberloca-blueberryIgnitionJoschIsAGeekmagolek22futureiscomingletha0iriethdobrynaichvolldostSaintomwhovilleGei0rrainbowzombieskilledmyunicornmushutichgasaxnlordofdragonssTurekMenistanlamnedtotal1tydankjemkartoflekadreismoke11devloqueYggrysiostravxcqsx-fr-sngldeinneuerfreundathalisindieaninsebnerpaketjmenomnomnomvogelslania705Osterhaseaniuszka


me, every single month without fail: huh weird I feel kind of bloated and lethargic but also very hungry??? and I’m breaking out??? and my back hurts??? this is so strange I have never experienced this before in my whole entire life… what could this be

me a few days later, every single month without fail: oh


Yeah, you could say I’m a gamer


when i was like 9 i asked my mom what a fetish was and she said “uh..um..its when you love something a lot” and i told her i had a fetish for video games and she just said “no. you dont”


imma drop sigmund freud at an anime con in 2020 with no explanation or context and count down the seconds until his head just fuckin explodes


government: here is your appointed rube goldberg contraption scene 

 80s-90s family movie: thank you I Am Indebted To Your Graciousness

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brain: do you have your wallet?

me: *slaps my ass so hard everyone in the target can hear it*

me: yeah




having a job is so weird like I can literally just…. buy shit

We out here buying shit

yes bitch we are purchasing shit and fuck




Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread.

Are you okay???

My cat stole my fuckign garlic bread


yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit  during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me

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The teacher is now legally allowed, even obligated in some states to kill you.

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